Parenting Choices

Once I began to write down our experiences it became obvious that the extensive thinking we had done about what type of parents we wanted to be had a massive positive impact on how we were getting on. On chatting this through with others and getting a lot of 🤨😏🥱😵😵‍💫, I decided it might sound slightly less crazy if I wrote down the process we went through, and why we ended up where we did.

Our Parenting Choices

Through several rounds of IVF, we had a lot of time to think about the impact we wanted to have on the twins, and what that meant for us as parents. I was so grateful we did this as it made everything else easier.

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Pausing, Observing the Twins and Trying to Understand How They Are Feeling and What They Want

Parenting super skill No 1 - the pause.

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Using Narration and Language that Encourages Intrinsic Motivation and a Growth Mindset

Talking constantly isn't really my thing, I'm more the moody silent type, but when and how we talked to the twins was really important.

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Involving the Twins in What We Were Doing, Giving Them Advance Warning and Asking Their Permission

Asking a tiny baby for their permission, and getting them to "help out" seemed a little odd to say the least, but over time the habits it created made a lot more sense.

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Creating a Safe Environment that Helps Them Learn…Then Giving Them Space to Grow

Creating a "yes space" was really important to us to foster independence, and to give us a practical space to stash he twins! It turns out though, that was the easy part, leaving them to learn and grow on thier own terms was tougher.

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Lots of Freedom, Within Clear Limits

We like to think we are pretty relaxed people, and wanted the twins to have as much freedom as possible. Doing this while keeping a routine, and sane, required a bit of a split personality!

Parenting Choices

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